poems

I would rather hold my breath and backstroke to the moon in zero gravity,
than go back on myself in this argument and apologise.
You polarise yourself on purpose,
My brown skin turning purple;
I’m dying for you to see things from my point of view.

You don’t need me like I don’t need you.
Toxic words getting hurled in this whirlwind of emotions.
I know the weight of my words, and how fragile your confidence is.
I’ve realised this is one of those arguments that I don’t wanna win.

Get your fucking hand out of my fucking face,
I know you’re trying to push my buttons.
Feels like that’s how this even started,
– why bring up problems if we can’t discuss them?
Also… you’re a texting terrorist.
Blowing up my line telling me you need space.
You’re just looking for an escape,
Any reason to get away.
I know that one of my problems is always thinking I’m right,
But it’s hard to stop doing that when you keep proving me right.
Everything’s just another issue, it doesn’t feel like just hiccups,
But we’ll both feel like we’re crooks, if we were to give up.

You mention my hairline,
I mention the clothes that no longer fit you.
I’m in my petty bag;
Fighting all urges to carefully craft all the words that I know will get under your skin,
Too triggered by hurt feelings I know I’m no king.
Just another nigga lost in a losing battle with the complexities of commitment,
Too inexperienced in love,
My responses too ignorant.

But an apology still teetering behind my teeth,
This Colgate keeps my words guarded
While your feelings continue to get hurt.
We both know we’re in the wrong,
But neither of us will say “I’m sorry”
Until the other person says it first.

uploaded: 20/04/20